I came across this today in my readings, Signs. I thought that this was said really well
Genuine love is built on friendship.
“Most successful love relationships began as friendships, which is probably the reason for their success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll get along with him or her, and the more likely it is that the relationship will last. In a true love relationship, your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean more than anything else. Friendships aren’t built on a purely sexual relationship. So first build friendships, and then look for love in a partner.”
I really think this has gotten lost in today’s society. We all rush into relationships and end up hurting ourselves as well as the other half of the relationship. I’d like to saying doing it ‘right’ can have amazing results, however I guess I can’t really say what is right and what is wrong. But doing it this way, starting as friends adds a whole different element to your relationship.
*Please note I started writing this about a month ago, and picking it up again here.*
I guess in some ways it relates back to my post yesterday, jumping straight into a relationship can in fact be infatuation. You may not always have taken the time to evaluate and clearly think about the direction and potential outcome of the relationship, and you haven’t seen this person in a number of different environments and situations. Starting as friends there is no pressure or expectations, and in a way it means you get to be yourself.
I always said I would marry my best friend and I still stand by that. I want a man who is my best friend, I can tell anything to, I can be seen at my worst, allow my self to be vulnerable, someone who I can know will always be there. There is no doubt that there will be dates that we can’t stand the sight of each other, but a best friend will keep making the choice to keep on loving you.
So, what happened with my current relationship? We were friends for almost a year before we were officially ‘going out’. Would I change that? No Way! Even after getting the title of ‘boy friend’ and ‘girl friend’ we both made the comment that it didn’t really feel like we were boy friend and girl friend, just best friends. I totally love what we have now, and in many ways I still don’t feel like I have a boyfriend, I just have a best friend who I can share everything with, be vulnerable to and there isn’t as much pressure since it’s based of friendship. Meeting this person I never really saw or intended anything more than a friendship, but hey look were we are now.
“So first build friendships, and then look for love in a partner.”